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The Fear Is My Homeboy® Blog

All I Want For Christmas … is to stop being such a jerk to myself!

December 4, 2017

 

I mean seriously … the crap we say to ourselves!

A little story for you ...

Last month I did a speaking event and before I took the stage I broke my “Cardinal Rule of Speaking #1”: NEVER read survey’s or “feedback” unless it’s honestly and truly constructive from someone who is also in the arena putting themselves out there. (Thank you Brené Brown for this amazing advice / wisdom that has saved me so much wasted energy.)

So, about an hour before taking the stage I read some “feedback” that totally threw me off my game. And literally 55-minutes before taking the stage in front of 150-ish insurance professionals I was SO IN MY HEAD!!!

Then, I went against my “Cardinal Rule of Speaking #2” and used the AV clicker, instead of my own.  I NEVER do this because I’m so used to driving my own clicker.  I know, I know, nerdy speaker problems … I digress.  So, because my fingers weren’t used to the AV clicker this meant I kept clicking OUT of the presentation … so AV had to reset me … multiple times during the presentation!   Which caused these awkward pauses and totally threw me off track.  

Then, at the end of one of the improv games I did on stage with a participant we ended the scene by “fake running” off stage.  

The scene was so hysterical and the audience was cracking up … HOWEVER … I tripped on the AV screen and my shoe when flying off my foot nearly hitting a participant in the head and almost sending me to the ER.

Ok … yes … everyone was laughing but I was DYING!!!

It literally took me 36-hours to shake the whole gig off.

I mean look at me … I’m now blogging about it and still thinking about it.

I totally felt like a goof … a rookie …a spaz … and was super embarrassed feeling like I “bombed”. Then, of course, I went down the rabbit hole of second guessing everything I was doing.   I sat at the airport totally dissecting the session, my career path, and my future feeling like a total flake.

Then … messages like the below started to come in via social media after the talk and I nearly lost it in tears.   

I don’t share these photos to be like “look at me I’m awesome” … I share them because it’s a visual reminder of how much you can impact someone’s life and not even realize it.

The moral of the story:  The things you make up in your head are never as bad as you “think” they are! TRUST in yourself.  

And always remember, that no matter how “bad” you think you did at something … you are probably doing more than most people are.  And that is something to be proud of!

Period. 

You hear this all the time … that you have to be nicer to yourself.

So, why don’t you do it?

Why are we such haters … to our own damn selves?

So, for Christmas this year, wrap yourself a big ol’ package of self-love and give it to yourself.  

You have to trust yourself.

One thing I know for sure:  Everything is not for everyone. Some people will love you, some won’t “get” you.  Yet, remembering that it’s your duty, and calling, and mission on this earth to share your gifts with the world can give you the fuel you need to push forward. 

My advice:

  • Find your people.  Spend as much time focusing on that as you can.  
  • Create a “snaps” folder so you can archive your amazing emails and compliments and refer to it when you self-doubt. 
  • Trust the process. And yourself. 
  • Let it go.
  • Have fun. 
  • Speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love so much it hurts.
  • Be patient. 
  • Breathe. 
  • Take time off. 
  • Focus.
  • Hustle.

Made with love.

 

 

 

 

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