For me, this one is the hardest. My mind is constantly spinning. By nature I’m a fast paced person. I get a thrill out of accomplishing tasks, checking off lists, staying super organized. I like to have a bunch of plates spinning at a time, it energizes me! Also, top this off with the fact that I’m a Gemini, and you can see right away that “being present” is not a natural gift of mine.
So I have to work at it. A lot. In Improv we learn this on stage because it goes hand in hand with listening. If we are not really listening to our scene partner and are off thinking of something clever or funny to say, we cannot truly be present – therefore the scene suffers because we are not connected to our partner.
But when we can stay present … Right there in the moment with the person we are on stage with … Listening only to the last thing that was said and reacting to that and that only … That’s when the magic happens. Because we are there … Really there … Fully present.
That magic can happen for you too. In your next meeting, on your next date, with your next client, as you talk with friends, in discussions with your kids … Be present. Listen. Be in the moment … not a million miles away thinking about what u have to do tonight, what’s for dinner, the errands you need to run, what you’ll wear to the party Saturday …. Be there … With the person who is giving you the gift of their time. If you do that … You too will receive gifts you would have missed otherwise if you were light years away.
I know it’s hard … Trust me. I work on this daily and really want to get better at it too.
So to help you, I’ve put together 7 ideas that I use to help you stay present:
- Breathe – Take your time. Focus on your breath when you are speaking with someone. You’ll be surprised how this slows you down.
- Awareness – just simply being aware of your tendencies (i.e – zoning out, not listening, multi-tasking, bad eye contact, interrupting) will help you stop the tendency before it happens.
- Acceptance – Don’t beat yourself up. The tendencies above are human. Accept that they happen and strive to work on them. Just be aware, breathe and observe your thoughts.
- Eye contact – this is my biggest pet peeve. Nothing says “I’m not present” and “I could care less” than bad eye contact. Just don’t do it!
- Be focused / determined – Focusing on the present moment can be a lot of work. If you’re serious about becoming more mindful, you have to be determined.
- Have passion – I believe that when you are passionate in life it’s easy to be inspired and open to new people, places and things. Find your passion and go after it.
- Set reminders – I have notes all around my office. “Slow Down”. “Take a Risk”. “Listen”. “Breathe”. “Stay Cool”. These are constant reminders of the things I constantly need to work on. I suggest you do the same to help you stay on track.
What do you find is your biggest obstacle in staying present?
Be well. Be Inspired!
Judi
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