6 positive responses to negative feedback!

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”  ― Aristotle

Negative feedback is never the issue.  You are.

How you respond to criticism, cynicism and just straight up “hating” … tells people who you are.

As someone who speaks professionally … it’s critical I get used to controlling my responses to critics, cynics and haters.   And guess what, it’s just a part of the deal.

I’m always amazed by how people give feedback without considering the efforts made by the person doing the actual work being criticized.

It’s not easy putting your heart on a stage. Creating something from scratch and hoping it resonates.   Putting your truth and your vulnerablilty in front of a room full of hundreds of people.

Yet … it is so easy for people to tell you how many things went wrong … how many typos you had … how your slides this … or your outfit that.  Without even acknowledging the work you did?

It’s insane.

And listen, feedback is important.  I want to always improve … and I’m always open to feedback.   But it’s all how you give it.  Do you just go for the kill or do you soften the blow?

Let’s build people up before we break them down for the love of sweet baby Jesus.

And why are people so quick to focus on what went wrong rather than acknowledge what went right?

Bottom line … negative feedback is a part of life.   And we’ve got to figure out a way to deal.

After dealing with lots of “feedback” over the last year … Here are my thoughts:

Negative responses:

1. Thinking it’s personal.
2. Arguing with them.
3. Feeling attacked.
4. Pointing fingers.
5. Making Excuses.
6. “I’ll never be good enough. I should quit.”

Positive responses:

1. Gratitude. Just say thanks.  Simple.  Elegant.
2. Questions.  Clarify so you really understand.
3. Reiterate … “So … what I hear you saying is?
4. Ask for solutions.
5. Does the corrected behavior make you feel good?   If it doesn’t … ditch it.
6. Ask for follow-up.   And do it quickly … don’t sit on it.   Solve the problem quickly

It’s all about your response.  And NO response is better than an over-reaction.  So be mindful.   Be present.  Be grateful. Be calm.

How do you handle negative feedback?