“Alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own.” – Oprah
If you have ever met me you know that I am full of energy, passion and am generally very happy. I do love life, people, new experiences and learning. Because of this, I think most people assume that I am “on” all the time filling all my days with new people, places and things. It is quite the contrary.
While I love my friends, my family, traveling and learning. I very humbly admit, I enjoy solitude just as equally.
I am actually a bit of a loner.
Just as I plan out my work and social calendar, I plan out alone time too. I absolutely crave this time. It’s where I rest, write, read, listen and be still with myself. My bones need it. My mind needs it. It’s 100% how I re-fuel.
I know what your thinking. That it must be nice to be able to have the “time” to be alone like that. But we all do. You just have to find ways, that work with YOUR life situation, to carve out that time and honor yourself.
I believe solitiude is the soul’s holiday. Just like when you are hungry … your stomach growls and you go eat. Or when you are thirsty … your mouth gets dry and you drink something. Your soul gets hungry too. So by the time you want to run away to a deserted island, your well has probably run dry and it’s time you plan a little solitude!
No matter how busy you are … How many kids you have … How many jobs you have … How important you are. It’s critical you find time for yourself. It’s how you will re-fuel. It’s how you’ll be the best version of YOU for all those that love and depend on you.
I’m sure right now your already feeling guilty just reading this. I can imagine the thoughts running through your head right now: “There is so much to do. What about the kids. I’m so busy at work. I barely see my husband and/or friends as it is. There are so many errands. It’s not possible.”
Stop these thoughts. Be a little selfish. YOU deserve it. You NEED it! And guess what … you CAN do it.
Here are 5 ways to help you carve out some alone time and feel GOOD about it:
- Schedule it – Look for those hidden opportunities in your day. Use your lunch hour, wake up early, carve out 30 minutes before bed. Start small. But just like you plan a work out, taking kids to soccer or a meeting at work – plan this too.
- Your priorities – If you are having trouble finding the time. I suggest you take a hard look at your priorities. What could be more important than YOU? Are you saying yes to too much? I always say … if YOU are not good then you will be no good to anyone else. You must take care of yourself first.
- Don’t listen to the guilt – I know you see yourself as the one who should be taking care of everyone else, and this means YOUR needs often fall by the wayside. However, taking care of yourself is something that you should never feel guilty about. It not only models healthy behavior for the ones you love, it also keeps you happy, healthy, and strong so that you can continue doing what fulfills you; and if that’s taking care of others, then you’re in an even better position to do that.
- Beware of resistance- Once you begin making time for yourself, dont be surprised if you run into resistance from those in your life who are used to you always being available. Don’t let their resistance stop you. Reassure these people that you’re still there for them, but in order for you to be there for them over the long haul, you also have to also take care of yourself. Then, do it! Just as they’ve grown accustomed to you always being there for them, they’ll get accustomed to you taking time for yourself.
- It can actually be FUN – Alone time doesn’t just mean being all holed up in a room, by yourself, in silence and quiet. Once you become more comfortable with the idea of being alone, doing activities like shopping, seeing a movie or running errands by yourself can actually be enjoyable. You can do whatever you want without having to adhere to anyone’s preferences, schedule or expectations. (i.e. – the photo below is a pic of me taken on a Saturday as I was grocery shopping alone. Couldn’t resist the FUN in taking a picture with the adorable neighborhood Girl Scout troop!)
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