JH

How to say “YES” … AND get results!

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by

peter2
in
“The FUN is always on the other side of a YES” – Tina Fey
 
In this post I explore Improv Rule #3 on my list – Saying “Yes … And.”  I believe this is one Improv rule you can start using RIGHT NOW that will make a huge impact in your life!  By simply replacing the word “but” with “and” when having conversations in life, in business and in relationships … you will transform the way you are percieved.
 

Below I share with you how saying “YES … AND” can work for you in both life and in business.

IN LIFE:
Just last month I was in Key West with some girlfriends and we were talking about this cruise ship docked right outside the restaurant where we were having dinner. The conversation went something like this:
 
“That cruise ship is gigantic”
“Yes and I bet it’s going somewhere really exotic like the South of France”
“Yes and I bet everyone on board is a millionaire”
“Yes and they are all about to come in this restaurant and invite us all to come with”
“Yes and they will give us each a bunch of money to buy lots of French clothes”
“Yes and the ship will have an endless supply of Gelato and Bellini’s”
 
It went on for a bit … then I stopped … I looked at my friends and said “Girls, do you realize you just improvised!”  Without even knowing it, a few regular girls having dinner on a Saturday night, improvised.  Each of us just kept “yes … and-ing” each other into what became the most ridicilous story. No one shut the other down and we kept building on what the last person said.  That’s the other side of a YES, that’s the FUN that is just around the corner.
 
IN BUSINESS:
After I started taking Improv classes I became obsessed with the word “but” … and how to avoid it at all costs. In this process … I could not help but notice how many times people use the word “but” in dealing with clients, friends and family. For example:
 

#1:  “Denise, the presentation was great, but you really could have spent more time on the budget.”

#2:  “Denise, the presentation was great, AND will be even better next time when we make sure to spend more time breaking down the budget.”

I’m guessing you are picking up the vibe.

Statement #1 is our “but” statement.  It builds you up and then immediately breaks you down.  How often have you heard things like “great job … but” … or “you are the perfect candidate … but”  or  “I love you … but”?  I have and it always makes me feel a little discounted.  The “but” is a negative and it closes off the conversation, rather than offering a suggestion for improvement.

Statement #2 is our “and” statement. It supports.  It contributes.  It is positive.  Saying “yes … and” forces you to contribute and to be a positive part of the conversation.  The “and” allows you to add a little something that is supportive in nature of the original statement.

It’s important to note that the “and” does not mean we must tell someone what they want to hear and not address any areas of concern.  As you can see from statement #2 above, the concern is still addressed, just in a supportive way.   Which will make a bigger impact to who you are talking to because now they are engaged.

How did you feel the last time someone told you “Yes …… but”?

Be well.  Be inspired!

Judi

Comments

6 responses to “How to say “YES” … AND get results!”

  1. Kristine Avatar
    Kristine

    Second City did a workshop at MPI-CAC Education Conference in Feb. 2008 (I think that was before you lived there) and it was so much fun. That was where I first learned about Yes…and.

    Reply
    1. Judi Avatar
      Judi

      Hi Kristine! Thanks for the feedback! You are ahead of the game knowing about the power of YES … And!!!

      Reply
  2. Claudine Avatar
    Claudine

    I had to laugh at this one Judi! My GM was talking about Guest Service Resolution, and he almost used your exact words. His were “Yes and the question was?” I almost asked him if he was reading your blog! Great stuff! Thanks for doing what you do.

    Reply
    1. Judi Avatar
      Judi

      Hi Claudine … I love it!!! Tell your GM he is a smart man! (Oh and to hire me … I’ll come work with your team! This show goes on the road ya know?!) Honestly … isn’t it cool how the “and” part really makes a difference. You guys are ahead of the game. Nice work and thank YOU for reading!

      Reply
  3. Sherry Avatar
    Sherry

    Love it! Reminds me of Pee Wee Herman “But what? Everyone I know has a big but” Keep up the great work Judi!

    Reply
    1. Judi Avatar
      Judi

      Sherry this made me laugh out loud! Love it!! Thanks for reading!

      Reply

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