“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”― Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness
I was recently asked by someone very close to me … “How do I get self confidence?”
I paused … and then realized … I couldn’t answer the question as easily as I had hoped.
This really frustrated me. And it also broke my heart because the person that asked me is really struggling … not only with self confidence, with some depression too. I knew she sincerely wanted, and NEEDED, to know the answer.
However, I promised to do some research and get back to her. I also knew that if she had that question, so did others.
I started by outlining some general differences between healthy self confidence and low self confidence …
| Self-Confident | Low Self-Confidence |
|---|---|
| Doing what you believe to be right, even if others criticize you for it. | Monitoring your behavior based on what other people think. |
| Willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things in life! |
Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure, and avoid taking risks. |
| Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them. | Working hard to cover up mistakes, and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices. |
| Praising your own virtues as often as possible to as many people as possible. | Waiting for others to notice and congratulate you on your accomplishments. |
| Accepting compliments graciously, “Thank you so much … I worked really hard on that.” |
Dismissing compliments offhandedly. “Oh, that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.” |
Do any of these sound familiar?
As I researched this topic, I learned a lot. And I came up with some great ideas and am excited to share them with you!
Here are the Top 10 things you can start doing now (and every day) to help build and KEEP your self confidence:
- Work Out – There is no better way to boost your endorphins, your self esteem and your happiness than a good work out. Looking good and feeling good is a key component to mental health.
- Practice – Yes, practice makes perfect, however by doing whatever it is you need confidence in, over and over again, helps. Fail and survive it, then do it again. Confidence comes when you learn you can survive doing something “less than perfectly” and be better because of it.
- Keep a list – I’m a list girl. It helps me compartmentalize. So jot down the things your struggling with and put a plan in place to change the way it is. Remember, life is all about choices. It is NOT what it is … it’s what you make it!
- Dress up – Put on some makeup! Put some effort into what you wear every day! How you present yourself is a critical component on how you carry yourself self and how the world perceives you. So dress up, show up and be mindful of how you present yourself to the world.
- Avoid being a perfectionist – No one is perfect. That would be boring. And robotic. Even the most confident people have insecurities. Learn that life is full of bumps in the road and that everyone has thier insecurities. Focus on being YOU … insecurities and all. And work on them every day.
- Be grateful – Focus on all the things you DO have … your health, your family, a great job, a loving partner. Whatever it is. When things get tough, laser focus on these things and you’ll be quickly reminded that no matter what happens … you have lots to be grateful for.
- Eat Right – If all you eat is junk, you feel like junk. Focus on putting good food into your body and you will radiate good energy.
- Hang with your friends – Time with my girlfriends and those I love is like a jolt to my system. They make me feel like a million bucks! So make time for it. Play. Laugh. Surround yourself with those that love you. They will remind you how lovable you are yourself!
- Be Positive – Be aware of your mind and watch where your thoughts go. If you find yourself going negative … snap yourself out of it. Avoid self pity and never allow anyone to make you feel inferior, they can only do so if you let them. Speak positivity about your life, your future and your progress.
- Celebrate – The milestones are all part of the journey. So for every pound lost, for every risk you take, for all the practice, for dressing up, for eating well … CELEBRATE! You are on your way and making choices that will allow you to live your best life!
I hope something above has resonated with you. And that something above can help you or someone you love.
Pass it on. Remember … YOU are the most important thing ever. You must love yourself first. Once you do that … the rest falls into place.
What are some ways you build your self confidence?
Be Well. Be Inspired!
Judi
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